Deep Sapphire
by P.A. Lovas
Summary: Zaha muses about the people in his life and his unrequited love.


**Deep Sapphire**

**by**** P.A. Lovas**

It's strange. Sometimes you can't help but stare, your eyes drinking an image as if trying to seer it into your memory. And like a glimmer in the darkness, my eyes are drawn to him. I smile to myself as I reflect on the appropriateness of his name. He IS the night, dark and beautiful, containing a quiet strength that commands respect and draws admiration. He's a force to be reckoned with, something to fear, yet cool and comforting with a warm heart and a friendly smile. But there's a darkness there, like the pitch-black of midnight, which traps him in a web of self-pity he wishes to keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his heart. But I see it, and I know everything.

I chew on my lip thoughtfully as my gaze washes over him. He doesn't know that I watch him, that my eyes are always following him, searching him out. I sigh in defeat. I'm addicted.

"Zaha." A voice startles me and I slip from my tree branch, falling hard. I rub irritably at my tailbone, sounds of discomfort slipping past my lips. I glare up at my intruder faining anger as smokey eyes seem to laugh at me. He reaches out a hand and I bat it away in mock annoyance, simply in order to keep up my charade. The laughter in his eyes tell me that I must look completely pathetic, sitting cross-legged in the dirt pouting like some spoiled child. Growing weary of my game, he reaches down and grabbing both of my arms, he heaves me to my feet. I flash him a smile noting my victory. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head in a way I know he isn't annoyed. He never is. Even with all my games, all my complaining, all my tears, he never seems to tire of me, and for that I'm forever grateful.

I lower my gaze as I pat the back of my shirt hoping to rid it whatever dust settled there due to my fall. "How do you always know where to find me?"

I see him shrug out of the corner of my eye. "It's not all that hard, really. Just find Nei and..." He finishes the sentence by extending his index finger skyward. I smile in a wistful sadness and lift my face toward the setting sun. _Just look up..._

It's the truth. I have never watched him on even ground, always gazing from a higher plane. I have learned that his is a selfish love, one which blinds him to that he can't see. So I have given my heart wings, hiding my love where it can't be seen, and it's fragile bounds can't be broken by rejection.

I freeze, my eyes widening in realization as the word "rejection" plays over in my head, and I begin to shake. Always observant, Gieß is instantly at my side, and wrapping an arm around me, he pulls me into the crook of his shoulder. I cling to him, weeping bitterly as he strokes my hair in an attempt to sooth my woes.

But the anguish is not my own, and tears are not falling for me. For as bleak as my situation is, it's not yet hopeless. Nei gave his all and lost, outright refused...rejected. And it has him depressed and his views distorted. He seems himself, not as a friend or comrade, just a convenience to be called upon when necessary. Simply an aid in times of need.

I sniffle as the last tear slips from my cheek, dropping elegantly onto my clenched fist. Untangling myself from Geiß's shirt, I raise an arm, rubbing dejectedly at my eyes, slightly embarrassed by my outburst of emotion. A sudden weight on my arm forced me to lower it, my eyes blinking open. He allowed his hands to trail down my arm, his fingers clasping lightly around my wrist as his lips curled into that slight, almost unnoticeable smile he reserves solely for me.

I turn my face toward him, trying to convey all my thanks into a grin. His eyes lighten as they always do, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, not able to understand what he's thinking. As long as we've been together, sometimes he baffles me, making me feel as if we've just met. I search his eyes with my own, then realizing the task is menial, I quickly look away.

I feel his gaze burn into me, and I quickly search for something else to lay my eyes on. And as if pulled by some unknown force, I find myself once again staring at tanned skin and midnight hair. Mesmerized, I simply watch, transfixed by each subtle movement; the gentle rise and fall of his chest...dark lashes fluttering like butterfly wings against smooth cheeks.

But there's something about this moment that bothers me. I suck at my lower lip, and cock my head gently in thought. There's something about the scene that seems almost out of place, an unnatural look about the demon.

He shifts his face lightly, and it hits me. His eyes. Usually dark and firey, containing his strength and pride, now seemed to hold a dejected look, like a lost child...or a forgotten lover. Once again, hot tears trail down my face, and I do the only thing I can think of. Acting on impulse, I pull myself from Gieß's embrace, and I run to him, throwing my arms around him.

He stiffens, most likely in confusion, and whispers my name. I shutter slightly at the sound of my name of his lips, and I turn my face up to him. Dark eyes widen and he raises a hand to lightly brush the moisture from my cheeks. "Are you ok? What happened?" His voice his soft and calm, yet worry and anger seem to touch his words.

I smile lightly as I gaze into his eyes. The pain is gone, leaving behind something fierce and strong. Wrapping my arms around him tightly, I burry my face in his chest, hiding a wide grin, as the tears continue to flow. Only this time, they're in happiness. "Nothing, Nei. Nothing at all..."

AN: Was that completely out of character? Yep. Do I care? Not especially. Not in this case. Also, I'd like to think of this as an apology to Zaha for not going to include him in my other fic. Oh, and one more thing. I do realize that his name is spelled "Saphir"...but I like "Zaha" better. v

Email me: suliabogardaol.com (makes whimpery puppy-dog face I need mail. I need it like I need to breathe).


End file.
